Railroading
by DoubleVC
Summary: Thank you for choosing to take the Infinity Train today. Next stop: Gravity Falls, Oregon. Enjoy meeting your cousins, Tulip! Try not to get kidnapped by gnomes, okay?


Mabel Pines is a happy-go-lucky twelve year old for someone who once spent a weekend fighting a mirror demon then a jackalope. She had described that weekend as 'a slow one.' Similarly, Wendy Corduroy is a calm, mature fifteen year old for someone who was kidnapped and nearly killed by ghosts and/or demons a non-zero number times.

Both worked at the Mystery Shack, a dingy tourist trap that sold exclusively forged supernatural paraphernalia, in the outskirts of Gravity Falls, Oregon, a place that produced legitimate supernatural paraphernalia at the same rate forests do falling leaves. Given the general intelligence of the people who frequented the Mystery Shack and the eldritch, crapsaccharine horrors that skulked the forests and treant ambush ranges of the town, this was probably for the best.

Mabel hopped up to the redheaded teen wearing a corgi sweater and a look that threatened a dogged chase if she wasn't appeased. "Oh. My. God. Your cousin's coming!"

"Cousin?" Dipper Pines asked, looking up from his sweeping. Dipper, Mabel's twin and partner-in-crime. Gets everyone around him, himself included, in and out of trouble with equal frequency to his sister. Also, squishy. "Your cousin's coming?"

Wendy turned to him, one arm outstretched into Mabel's face to stop her from glomping her. "Settle down, settle down. Yeah, I'm having my cousin over for a little bit. Her name's Tulip, by the way."

Mabel gasped with delight. "Your cousin's a girl? What's she like? How old is she? What's her favorite flavor of glitter?"

"I can't believe your cousin is coming. Why didn't you tell us sooner?" A beat passed before he turned to his twin. "Wait, how did you find out about Wendy's cousin?"

"Oh, Grenda's friend has a brother who works with Wendy's dad's coworker's son's bestfriend and-"

"Forget I asked. So, Tulip Corduroy?" Dipper stopped her before she could get too carried away. As much as he liked to know every intimate detail of every random person even remotely related to his sister or someone she knew, they had a more important topic to discuss.

"Olsen. She's from Nebraska."

Mabel squeed at the thought of a mini-Wendy. "Oh, so she's a rough-and-tough teen then, like you!"

"Nah, she's more into programming and stuff. Wants to make her own games and junk. I think you'd like her, Dipper. I think she's about your age."

Mabel stared at Wendy, then at Dipper, then back at Wendy. "Oh. My. Go-"

Dipper hushed her. While he'd sorta confessed to her during that cave thing with that shapeshifter that nearly got them killed, he didn't like having his crush and rejection brought up. "Mabel, no. I don't need you trying to pair me up with her, okay?"

In reply, she shot him a far too toothy grin, "I don't know what you're talking about, Dipdip."

"Heh, she should be coming in an hour. I'm going out to meet her right now. I'll introduce you three when I get back. Dipper, man the register for me, mmkay?"

"Haha, right, bye Wendy," Dipper awkwardly waved at her, his twin eagerly waving beside him, until the teen was out of sight. "Mabel, what do you think you're doing?"

"What? Tulip sounds like she's perfect for you!"

"Look, I'm still not quite over Wendy, okay?"

"You know what'll fix that? A date!" her twin flashed her an unimpressed look. "Psh, you'll see. I'm never wrong about these kinds of things."

Dipper was about to bring up her last boyfriend when, at the last second, he noticed something in the mirror.

A girl, ginger, bespectacled, hair-tied-in-a-huge-ponytail, greeted them, much to Mabel's surprise and his near-surprise. Her backpack rustled behind her. "Excuse me but never wrong about what?"

"Oh, uh, welcome to the Mystery Shack, new customer!" A crowned head emerged from her backpack. "And doggie! Oh my god! Who's a good boy, who's a good royal boy?"

Dipper inched away from the new girl while Mabel smothered the dog, a Cardigan Welsh corgi with a miniature crown, in slobbery kisses. "Ah, hi. Sorry, didn't notice you there. Or hear you coming in. What're you looking for?"

The girl stifled her laughter at the corgi desperately trying to escape. "Pfft, sorry. I'm looking for someone."

He flipped open a far-too-big-for-him book with a golden hand on it and brought out a pen as he began flipping through the pages. "I see, I see. Maybe I could help? Can you, uh, describe them for me, us?"

The newcomer quirked an eyebrow but shrugged it off. "Red hair, pretty tall, her name's Wendy Corduroy."

Dipper closed the book with a smack and pointed down the road. "Sorry, never heard of her, haha. I think I saw someone like that on the main road though!"

"Oh, cool, thanks. Come, Atticus," the girl said as she lowered her backpack on to the floor. Atticus, all too happy at the reprieve, jumped out of Mabel's grasp and back into the girl's backpack.

"Bye Atticus!" Atticus gave a wary yip back while his owner waved them goodbye. Mabel then turned towards her twin, "Why'd you do that, Dipper? You should've asked her her name. Maybe she was Wendy's cousin."

Her twin opened the journal back to the page he'd bookmarked with the pen and showed it to her, revealing a sketch of a stereotypical Hollywood vampire. "Mabel, whoever that was was a vampire. Who knows what she would've done with Wendy!"

She took a glance at the page before scoffing at the idea. She hadn't watched all those cheesy vampire romance flicks without learning a thing or two about said heartthrobs. "A vampire? At this time of day? Pfft."

"She had no reflection!"

She paused. "She didn't?"

"Yeah. I saw her coming up by the window. She had no reflection on the glass!"

She took another glance at the page, skimming its contents. There were more than a few details that lined up. A lot more than a few details. She was still wary, but if Dipper was right, "I could befriend an actual vampire."

"Yes," he took a moment to process what his twin had said with just enough time to register her running past him, "I mean no! Wait, Mabel, stop. We're not going to befriend the vampire!"

"Too late!"

"Wow, Dipper. I thought you were leading the vampire _away_ from Wendy."

Dipper leaned on his sister to catch his breath. He was in better shape than when they arrived but she was still the more athletic one of the two by far. "What? How?"

Wendy and her cousin walked up to the pair, corgi in Corduroy hands. "Hey Dipper, Mabel. Meet Tulip and Atticus."

Tulip stretched out her hand while Atticus stretched out his paw. Mabel gleefully grabbed the shook the dog's paw leaving Dipper to reluctantly shake Tulip's. "We've met. Thanks for the directions, Dipper. Wendy was right where you said she was."

Dipper gave a wary chuckle, "Yeah, that's good to hear."

Against Dipper's frantic warnings, Mabel hopped over to Tulip's side with a chipper grin. "Hey Tulip, how about you and us get some garlic bread? Whaddaya say?"

Tulip glanced at Atticus, then Wendy, then back to Mabel. "Uh, no thanks. I just ate on the train."

"I knew it," the twin muttered excitedly under her breath, much to Tulip's confusion. Another glance at her cousin was met with an amused shrug.

Wendy and her cousin then stopped at a nearby intersection. "Oookay, I'm gonna show Tulip where she's staying for now. See you two later."

Dipper could only watch helplessly as Wendy walked away with a vampire masquerading as her cousin.

Meanwhile, Mabel - "Aw yeah, vampire buddy."


End file.
